Saturday, May 21, 2005


      "I still don't get it," said Douglas, who was absently watching a superturkey try to fix its small stick hut using only its head.
      "The plan," repeated Josef, "was to create a group of turkeys who thought it was cool to be eaten. Unfortunately, every time the idea was introduced to them, it was quickly replaced by sleep-deprived lava dancing or tattoos. So scientists spent many thousands of years trying to figure out how things stayed cool."
      "Why did it take so long?" asked Douglas.
      "I thought I mentioned," replied Josef, "they were scientists."
      "Ohhhh..." nodded Douglas.
      "They finally realized," the lab mouse continued, "that things only stay cool if it's wrong to say they are cool."
      "That's dumb," said Douglas, as a couple of young superturkeys wobbled by.
      "I'm going to be eaten first!" declared one of them.
      "Are not!" argued the other.
      "Hush," a mother chided, "don't say such awful things."
      Suddenly, a metal clank coasted softly through the jungle air, followed closely by a loud gaggle of boggles. What was likely the entire village of superturkeys crowded past, picking up stragglers, shouting and boggling.
      "To the mountain!"
      "Come on," said Josef, and darted off after them, "this is what we've been waiting for."
      "We've been waiting for something?!" called Douglas, rising to follow.
      "They have to feed someone."